Last updated on April 17th, 2020 at 08:56 pm
There’s no way around it: rejection is extremely painful.
But it’s also part of life.
Whether your significant other breaks your heart, you don’t get the job or into the school or program that you’d dreamt of, a family member lets you down, or a friendship falls apart, there is a certain type of grieving that comes with rejection.
There’s no perfect moment for rejection, so try to do it as soon as possible.
Here are few tips on how to reject someone nicely.
Be Honest and Tell The Truth :
Yes, you want to tell the truth.
Honesty really is the best policy, no sugar-coating here.
The key is to be direct, but gentle.
Give the real reasons for turning away.
But don’t blame.
Talk about how you thought you would mesh with his/her, and you’re glad you tried.
But you don’t feel like it can work out.
Prepare Yourself :
If you feel ready to turn down the romantic interest of someone after a couple of dates then you’ve hopefully already thought through the consequences.
Make sure you also prepare for the act of rejection as well.
As nice as you try to be when you reject someone what you have to say has the potential to make the other person feel bad.
Think about what you’ll say beforehand.
Don’t just tell a straight “no”; try to explain it in a way that’s not harsh or cutting.
Choose your words carefully.
Be prepared to adapt, though, based on his/her reactions.
Act according to the situation.
Be careful about your tone.
Choose Face to Face :
Of course, it’s tempting to get it over with by text, email, phone call, etc., but the bad news is best delivered in person, even in the modern digital age.
Face to face is always the best option.
Not only is it the most respectful, but it also gives the other person a chance to see by your facial expressions and body language that you’re serious in your words.
A face-to-face rejection allows you to immediately see how the other person is reacting to the news.
Surprise, anger, maybe even relief and lets you adjust accordingly.
Avoid Putting it Off :
While it’s natural to want to put off unpleasant tasks.
You’ll only make things worse by waiting once you know you want to end things.
There’s no perfect moment for rejection.
The more time that passes, the more difficult it’s going to be for you to do.
Pick a good time to do it maybe not the person’s birthday or the night before a big test or job interview.
But don’t keep waiting for the “right time.”
The right time is now.
Time to Process :
If you don’t give the other person an opportunity to be involved in the process.
It is easier for him/her to feel like it’s not really over or there’s still a chance.
Be sympathetic and let the other person display sadness, cry, or even vent some frustration.
But you don’t have to stand for outright anger or verbal abuse.
Allow the person time to understand and possibly respond.
Accept the awkwardness of the situation.
It’s going to be a difficult, uncomfortable discussion, especially once you say “no.”
Stick With “I” :
Whatever the reason for your feelings, avoid putting the blame on the other person when you tell him or her how you feel.
Don’t start pointing out all the faults or issues the person has that is leading you to make your decision to reject them.
All this will do is inflame the situation and make it more hurtful.
Stick to the “I” statements.
Focus on why you aren’t suited for a person like him/her.
Maybe “I’m sorry, I don’t share your passion for.
So I know we wouldn’t end up a good fit.”
To avoid even more tension, it’s usually best to approach a rejection from an “it’s not you, it’s me” approach.
Don’t Finish With False Hope :
One of the biggest mistakes that people make when it comes to ending a relationship that isn’t working is giving the other person false hope.
All that does is prolong the healing process for the other person and it really doesn’t put you in a good light either.
Like the person you are rejecting may feel like you’re playing games.
You need to be upfront and have a heart-to-heart conversation and let him/her know where he/she stands.
If you feel like it’s time to move on, do yourself.
A favour and be direct, honest and gentle when letting him or she know how you feel.
Remember rejection is always painful.
So keep these things in mind and reject someone nicely.
In this article, I have shared ways to reject someone nicely.
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Rejection FIC: Pixabay